That Awkward Moment When Your Characters Actually Exist

So, you know that awkward moment when a character from your head suddenly appears in your real life? You don't? Oh, well I do.

Yeah, today marks the second time that someone in reality actually looks like one of my characters from my book, Forget-Me-Not and the sequel, Morning Glory. What? This doesn't happen to normal people?

The first time I ever saw someone who looked like one of my characters was about one year ago, before Forget-Me-Not had been contracted for publication. Therefore, no one knew about my novel besides myself and my mother.

I was sitting in a college event that my Freshman Seminar had required me to attend. It wasn't much. Mostly young kids reading poems that they had written and the college students who had taught them were beaming with pride.

It was then, when the next group of kids and their college student teacher came up to present, that I saw him. If Cole Dyami had a twin brother, this man would be him. My main male protagonist from my novel, Forget-Me-Not, was now walking, talking, and physically in front of me. And being the mature young adult I am, I freaked out right then and there. In front of my friends. Who simply stared. Of course, I couldn't tell anyone why because I was too embarrassed.

But I seem like less of a freak now that I can explain how crazy this all really is. You know, a fictional character that somehow exists outside of the realm of books.

So now I can explain how a guy in one of my classes looks like another one of my characters. Oh, and they have the same name. The. Same. Name. Oh, you know, no big deal.

But, it actually is a big deal. Because I don't know how to handle the fact that twice a week I will have a guy in my class who looks/acts like a character from my latest novel, Morning Glory.

Why does my life suddenly feel like a weird romantic comedy?

Or boys who originally were in books, but escaped into the author's real life... 

I'm A Big Kid Now...Right?

So, you'd think moving into an off campus apartment and publishing a novel would suddenly qualify me as an adult, right? I mean, I'm almost twenty (I'm still 19 years old and hanging on to my teens as long as possible) so I should feel older, more mature, more grown up.

Um, no. I still feel a bit like the kid I once was when I was a freshman. I'm a sophomore in college now, Co-Candidate Mentor of my sorority, an editor for my university's literary journal, and a published author with her first novel on its way to publication all while writing another book.

But even with all of these blessings and responsibilities, I still feel insecure and constantly asking God, "Is this right? Is this Your will?"

Of course, I need to just breathe, enjoy the ride, and trust God and His plan for my life. But it does get hard sometimes. One day I feel like an adult, but then the next day I just want to crawl back home and let my Mom take care of me. I just want to be a little kid again and slow down this whole growing up thing (Yes, I do realize I sound a lot like Taylor Swift or those kids from High School Musical 3. Don't judge me.)

But I suppose that's life, right? I know growing up is going to happen. Nothing is stopping it. It's the way God intended life to go.

But I do have an escape. An escape that a lot of my peers don't. I write. I write to escape the insecurities and reality of life when I need to. Writing has a way of calming me and in a way, it's a protection. I don't ever have to fully grow up or give up my childhood because I have the privilege of living it all over again through my characters' eyes.

Adeline and the other beautiful characters God has blessed me with keep me grounded in who I was and who I'm becoming. So, I need to breathe and trust this process of life. It all has a greater purpose that one day will become clear. But for now, I can be both the adult and the child. And I think this is exactly as God intended.

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing, and perfect will." Romans 12:2

I think I have.